They say it takes a village to raise a kid and it is absolutely true.
Raising kids is one of the most wonderful experiences of life, yet it is equally challenging too. As a parent, we go through various parenting challenges time to time and face various ups and downs in our parenting journey. And many times, feel frustrated while dealing various parenting issues.
Sadly, there is no fixed module or learning curriculum for mastering in art of raising kids. It’s an incredible journey of learning something new every day and growing as a parent, as your child grows.
Among all parenting challenges, “Power struggle” is one of the challenging parenting concerns. It affects large number of parents and most of parents had hard time to deal with this issue.
Being a mom of two girls, I had also faced this situation many times and I would be able to overcome this challenging situation by applying few strategies.
What is power struggle? What are the causes of parenting power struggle? and what are some effective ways to deal or avoid this situation? Read on to know more.
What is power struggle?
As per definition,” A situation where two or more people or groups fight to gain dominance over each other.
In context to parenting, power struggle is a situation, when parents and kids both have their strong opinion or thoughts on certain topics and no one, ready to bending down on them with firmness. Power struggles usually start with as a minor argument but it may take a more serious route due to non-cooperation and lack of understanding of both parties (parents and child). Sometimes, power struggle causes plenty of negative emotions (anger, frustration) in relationship and become a leading cause of unpleasant home atmospheres.
What are the causes of power struggle?
Power struggles are a natural part of childhood development. Kids want to feel more overpowered and want to gain more control over their day-to-day activities and other important decisions. Power struggle can be happened on various things ranging from staying late up to night to not completing the homework. When they do not want to complete certain assign tasks or just do not have willingness to follow family rules, they express their unwillingness in form of this challenging and unpleasant behavior. When parents also losses their cool and behave in an impatient or angry manner, it led to situation of power struggle.
What are 3 effective ways to deal or avoid the power struggle?
Here are some yet effective ways to deal with power struggle.
Step aside and stop the heated arguments from your side
I know, this one sounds a challenging step, when the power struggle happens in practical life. But this is one of the best ways to resolve this situation and get some much-needed time to calm down yourself. With power struggle, a situation of “I want to win this battle” is arises frequently between parent and child and no one wants to lose this battle.
When you forced to do certain things (on topic or task the power struggle is happening) to your kids, they will show more resistance to accepting it.
Thus, it is important to take some time out for yourself and think twice that is it really the matter that needed that kind of battle with your kids? Or can you deal this situation with another approach?
While giving the situation a second thought, you would be able to think with a peaceful mind and would have more relaxing energy to deal with the situation.
Connect with your kids
Most of the power struggle happens, when kids did not feel connected with you on deeper level and this is a common occurrence with hectic lifestyle. Many times, the reason of non-cooperative behavior is lack of communication between parents and kids. Thus, if you are dealing with frequent power struggles with your kids, then put some serious efforts in improving the connection with your kids. Take out some time every day to talk with them. Try to do something together on day to day basic. Make some positive conversations with them to know what is going in their life? And what are the challenges or struggles, they are facing with any aspect (like study or friends etc.)
This thing helps in strengthening the loving bond with your child. They feel more connected with you and will respond better to your instructions. As a result, you can prevent the situation of power struggle. and by chance, it happens sometimes, then you would be able to resolve it with a more calming approach.
Offer them choices but not more than two
As a third effective step, it is important to give choices to your kids to resolve the situation. For example, if your child spends excessive time on gadgets, then instead of taking away the privilege of using gadgets completely, you can offer some other activity choices (like art, raft or music) and let them choose the option as per their intertest. Explain them the hazards of excessive screen time and then give them control to take the decision that suits best as per their individual interest. This approach resolves the situation in peaceful manner and avoids the state of power struggle between parents and kids. However, do not offer too many choices to kids as it may make them confused and may hamper their decision-making power in negative manner.
In conclusion, power struggle is a common parenting issue that affects most of parents’ time to time. From toddlers to teen agers, this is a situation that arises frequently in routine household. However, it can be dealt with effectively by maintaining a positive communication with your kids and explaining them importance of following certain rules or completing assign tasks.
What was your experience with power struggle with your kids? And how you have resolved the situation? Please share with me in comment box.